Poll: 93% of dudes with mullets support Palin

The latest AP Poll suggests that GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin now has one remaining demographic that overwhelmingly supports her candidacy. While only 23 percent of the general electorate now feel that she is qualified for the VP role, 93 percent of dudes with mullets have the fullest confidence in her abilities.

"That there Sarah chick is one hot momma, you know what I'm sayin?" stated visibly inebriated Billy John Cook, 23, of Deerfield, Arkansas. "I don't never remember having a lady like that to vote fer. Most of the womens 'round here don't even have all their teeth or nuthin!. Dang, where'd I put down my beer at? Did'tcha take it, ya bastard?!"

Dudes with mullets tend to share Governor Palin's views on many issues, including guns, hunting, NASCAR and beer. Lester Bob Wilcox, 29, of Eunice, Missouri feels Palin connects with him on a personal level: "I heard her say one time that she's all about the 'Joe six-packs' out there. Well, I tell you what Miss Palin, I gotta six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon back in my trailer. Why don't ya stop by some time, we'll drink some cold ones, and I'll show ya my huntin' rifle collection. Then I'd show ya my OTHER gun - oh yeah, ya know what I'm talkin' about!"

With the election only days away, it remains to be seen whether dudes with mullets will have any impact on the presidential race. "I don't know about that McCain guy, he reminds me of old Henry down over at the Pickins farm. That bastard would shoot at us with his squirrel rifle whenever we'd ride our ATVs over his land," said Joe 'Slim' Johnson, 35, of Monroe, Tennessee. "If it were just McCain runnin', I could care less 'bout this whole thing. But that Sarah Palin is real excitin'. I'm votin' now for sure. Any woman who shoots wolves and goes to NASCAR rallies and has a hot body is my kinda woman."

While Palin's support amongst dudes with mullets is very strong, voter turnout has historically been poor in this core constituency. "My parole officer said I can't vote no more, on account of me being convicted of meth production and all," said Ryan Joe Stone, 39, of Hillsdale, Kentucky. "That's a dang shame that I can't vote fer her. I heard from my cousin Kevin that she's in one of them adult movies made by that guy who runs Hustler. Man, I wanna see that."

Alan Thicke Calls John McCain's Bluff

Today, Alan Thicke called a press conference which was aired on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS and BET.

Alan Thicke, mega star, who rose to stardom from the hit series Growing Pains addressed the nation and press stating clearly and articulately... "Senator McCain sir, I call your bluff."  The entire press confrence lasted a total of 10 seconds but has caused an uproar of excitment especially from the McCain camp who seem to have gone in hiding.  John McCain is completely missing remarked  "The View" conservative Elizabeth Hasselback when asked where John McCain had gone.  In a photo provided to the press from Brad Pitts private photograph collection his sources have proof that McCain is currently hiding out in an Afganistan cave until the excitment dies down.  Pitt and wife Joile were in Afganistan to pick up their new son Ahmad-Shah.  They had stopped to make a pit stop and snapped this photograph.  Sarah Palin is the only member of the party that has not gone into hiding and will be calling a press confrence of her own later today where she is expected to declare herself the GOP Presidential candidate.  She is expected to ask Hilary Clinton to be her running mate.  No further information is available yet.  Things are going well for Alan Thicke lately says manager Bud Markowski..."Alan will appear in "The Goods: The Don Ready story," the new Will Farrell movie, staring Jeremy Piven and Ving Rhames where Alan will play Ed Helms' dad.  It will be in theaters this summer. for more information visit http://www.alanthicke.com

Your fro is sooo big!

In 9th grade Spanish class, we had this workbook filled with various writing exercises. Many of the pages had illustrations of people doing various everyday things. About halfway through the year, as boredom set in, and my obsession with FROs grew more intense, I began to doodle in the book. Nearly every illustration was modified in some way to reflect my bizarre state of mind at that time. Miraculously, I managed to keep this book over all these years, and now I've begun to scan and upload its contents. Roughly five people on this planet will find it funny.

Papa Smurf!?

Have you seen this guy who looks like Papa Smurf? I saw him on a news show recently, and he's absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs. Apparently, his obsession drove him to begin drinking a potion containing silver compounds, which leads to permanent blue discoloration of the skin. "Things have been so smurfy for me since turning this shade of blue," said Paul Karason, 57, of Madera, California. "Ever since I became Smurf, I've been presented with many new opportunities that'd I'd never smurfed of before."


What sorts of opportunities was he talking about? What would drive someone to such desperate measures? Well, it turns out he mostly did it for the ladies. "Let me tell you, going into a nightclub looking like Papa Smurf has done wonders for my smurf life. I've lost count of how many smurfy ladies I've had the pleasure of meeting. Most of them turn out to be quite mentally unstable, but at least women are interested in me now, even if it's just to find out if 'everything' is blue." So there you have it. Dudes, if you're unlucky with the ladies, maybe you should consider becoming a Smurf.

Another negative for McCain...

Comb overs are already creepy.  Comb over mustaches are EXTRA creepy.  Sen. McCain you do not have my vote!

OUR NEXT PRESIDENT

I think our next president should have a mustache. Even a fake mustache that always stays on at public events. This would show the world a leader that is stern but comfortable, confident and makes me proud to be an American. He would be saying "Hey world leaders look at my mustache. Its time to sit down and discuss politics." I trust this man and I salute him - he is our fearless mustached leader. And this is why I support Barack Obama as the next president of the United States.

Ray's Dream Girl

Nice pick!