Bob Barker Assaults Bob Vila

Former game show host Bob Barker was arrested this afternoon on assault charges at his home in Jupiter, Florida. Earlier in the day, Barker, 84, was reportedly engaged in a violent confrontation with former This Old House host Bob Vila. The incident took place at a Burger King restaurant in nearby North Palm Beach at approximately 11am. Witnesses say that Vila, 62, was waiting in line to order a BK Stacker® when Barker entered the building and stood in line behind him. The two Bobs initially began a polite conversation, with Vila reportedly interested in the type of wood used to construct the Cliff Hangers pricing game.

The mood quickly changed, however, when Vila began quoting from the movie Happy Gilmore. "I heard Bob Vila say 'The price is wrong, bitch!', and then [Barker] just totally lost it!" said witness Jay Needles. "I could tell that [Vila] was just joking around, but for some reason Barker didn't think it was funny at all. He started screaming how he's 'sick and tired' of that line and how he 'hears that goddamn line every time' he goes out in public. And he was totally getting all up in Bob Vila's face and everything!"


The altercation turned physical when Vila responded with a derogatory remark concerning the Price Is Right models. "I heard Bob Vila ask him if Barker's Beauties were hired from a modeling agency or a whore house," said fellow witness Joan Fineman. " And that's when the punches started flying." Barker landed several blows to Vila's face in quick succession, knocking the younger Bob to the floor. Barker then quickly fled the scene in a panicked state. Meanwhile, witnesses called the police and tended to the dazed Vila, who was reportedly muttering that he wanted to 'spay or neuter' Barker.

Several hours later, police forces descended upon Barker's upscale residence. "After we busted through his front door, we found him in the living room calmly playing Plinko, and wearing nothing but an apron. I guess he stole that Plinko board from the Price Is Right set after he retired or something," stated police officer Brandon Rice. "The whole thing was really creepy," added Rice. Barker apparently surrendered without a struggle, although he was initially reluctant to leave the house without clutching his trademark skinny microphone.